Gizane Aparicio @theperuviansage
It’s 7.30 in the morning. I’m sitting in a coffee shop drinking a Cortadito (similar to the Italian Macchiato while they open the local library, where I spend most mornings working.
An elderly couple sit beside me. He sips on a tall latte, she sneezes over the newspaper crossword she’s working on.
Suddenly, she realizes she’s lost the cap to her Bic.
I’m old enough to know what that means. I’ve heard that distinctive sigh more than I’ve cared to in my life.
“Look in your specs case,” he suggests, “it’s probably in there.”
The woman starts to get nervous. She stands up and looks around.
“It’s not there. Where is it?” she says.
She begins to shift coffee cups around, move chairs in and out, looks under tables.
I sit there unaffected, sipping on my Cortadito.
I can sense my calmness is starting to do her head in. She can’t move the chairs around the table I’m sitting on, she can’t get under my table. We both know that’s not acceptable social behaviour.
She stares at me as if to command me to leave, now.
I dig my bum right into my chair and relax my breath even further, as I check my Instagram.
I’m not being an asshole. I’m just being. She isn’t.
Her nervous system is on over drive. Her brain has gone down the “must find that cap now or I will have a nervous breakdown” path.
In her unconsciousness her partner, myself, and everyone else in the coffee shop have become nothing but inanimate obstacles.
When I finally decide to leave, I have barely shifted my chair and she’s already under the table looking for the blue Bic cap.
As I walk past the till towards the entrance to the cafe, the barista and I gift each other a knowing look. He makes that funny face you make, you know, resignedly confirming the world has gone crazy.
People are always surprised to hear I don’t ever watch, listen to or read the news.
But trust me when I say I’m perfectly up to date on current affairs. Every day I pay careful attention to what’s going on around me, and this tells me everything I need to know.
It’s official, we’ve lost the plot.
Spiritual Energy Healer, Mentor, Writer